Speed Dating Makes Comeback in LA with Creative New Twists

Speed dating is undergoing an unexpected resurgence in Los Angeles, transcending its 1990s origins to cater to the diverse demographics of the city. According to Eventbrite’s data, there’s an increase of 75% in speed dating events from 2021 to 2022. Furthermore, Google search interest surpassed pre-pandemic levels in February, marking the first instance of such a resurgence since the onset of COVID-19.

This resurgence is drawing in not only older generations but also capturing the interest of Millennials and Gen Z, who are exploring modern approaches to courtship. While the traditional rapid-fire speed dating format remains, innovative variations such as friendship speed dating and tantra speed dating are emerging. Moreover, speed dating is undergoing reinvention to cater to specific niche communities.

The landscape has undergone a significant transformation since speed dating first gained popularity in 1998 at a cafe in Beverly Hills. During that time, Orthodox rabbi Yaacov Deyo pioneered the concept as an efficient way for Jewish singles to meet. But over two decades later, proponents argue speed dating now fills a void left by impersonal dating apps and websites.

“Media has portrayed speed dating as this very weird, creepy thing and not like this vibe where it’s very cool and chill,” explained 27-year-old Ariana Coleman, who tried speed dating for the first time recently and was pleasantly surprised. “Young people have made speed dating cool again.”

Indeed, the in-person events provide built-in icebreakers and activities designed to alleviate the awkwardness of first dates. Some organizers are incorporating psychological compatibility testing or collaborative exercises as engaging alternatives to traditional rapid-fire Q&A between partners.

“It’s kind of nice to not talk and to get to know someone in a very different way,” described Melanie Rosenthal, 41, who attended a tantra speed dating event after a breakup and found it refreshing. “It's a relief.”

Approaches like tantra speed dating have helped rebrand and modernize speed dating for Millennials and Gen Z. But the revived popularity of rapid courtship also owes much to post-pandemic social hunger, experts say.

“People who had zero interest in speed dating are trying it now after having to isolate for months due to COVID-19 restrictions,” explained dating coach Damona Hoffman. After extended quarantining, single people appear more willing to push their comfort zones.

Still, in-person speed dating events continue battling perceptions of being outdated or awkward. “No matter how dating-app fatigued we are, speed dating will always take more effort and yield mixed results,” Hoffman acknowledged.

Yet niche communities are realizing that focused speed dating events can efficiently incubate relationships between like-minded people. Their concentrated nature expedites courtship for those sharing identities, interests, or beliefs.

“Speed dating was always meant to cater to specific groups,” Hoffman noted.

For instance, LGBTQ+ speed dating events provide connections that can be rare to find organically in the heteronormative bar scene. Adrian Valencia attended a queer women's speed dating night in Los Angeles after learning about it online.

“Everyone’s super nice,” recalled Valencia, who made new friends as well as potential romantic matches that evening. “Communities and clubs like this are really important.”

Similarly, for those exploring kink and BDSM interests, speed dating offers a judgment-free space to meet partners open to those preferences. Dominatrix Mara co-hosts kink speed dating gatherings aimed at nourishing that community.

“Meeting someone in person is so much more valuable,” said Miss Mae Ling, an attendee at a recent event. “I think speed dating takes less energy than spending hours on dating apps.”

Meanwhile, tantra speed dating is also growing in popularity, combining courtship with intimate yet non-sexual partner exercises. "It's about making an immediate heart connection," explained Evonne Smith, an avid tantra speed dating participant. She enjoys honing her "agility" for forging quick connections. Over 95% of tantra speed daters make matches at events, according to organizers.

While apps provide endless choice, some proponents argue focused niche speed dating events actually yield better relationship results. Others simply see value in mixing up their courtship methods rather than relying solely on digital matches.

“I’m willing to try anything at this point,” said Rosenthal, the tantra speed dating enthusiast. “I have nothing to lose.”

Still, it remains unlikely that speed dating will ever fully replace online dating, given the much lower effort that digital courtship requires in the modern era.

“People will usually choose the easier route, and it’s always easier to sit at home and chat on a phone,” Hoffman pointed out.

However, leaders of Los Angeles' eclectic and expanding speed dating scene remain optimistic about the future. They continue creating niche events each month celebrating diverse relationship models, sexual orientations, kinks, age groups, and personality types.

“Media has portrayed speed dating as this very weird, creepy thing and not like this vibe where it’s very cool and chill," Coleman reiterated. "Young people have made speed dating cool again. I see it all over TikTok now.