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(CNN) — Chrissy Metz documented what she says was a tough childhood in her memoir, “This Is Me.”
The “This Is Us” star is opening up even more now and has talked about her experiences on “The Jamie Kern Lima Show” podcast.
As a youngster, Metz said, she endured “mental, physical, emotional abuse” about her weight. She got emotional talking about “This Is Us” creator, Dan Fogelman, because he purposely chose her for the role that she says changed her life.
“What I discovered in therapy was that my dad, for whatever reason, wasn’t able to choose me,” she said during the podcast. “So I go after things, whether it’s men or jobs, I’m literally in the business of rejection. I’m like ‘Oh, that’s comfortable for me. Oh great, great,great. Let me just pursue that.’”
“That’s what I’m used to,” she added. “It’s normal for me. It’s not healthy.”
Her stepfather, whom she identifies in her book as “Trigger,” “would weigh me in the kitchen or threaten to lock the cupboards.”
The plus-sized star now looks back on it with wisdom.
“Why does my weight equate my worthiness?” she said. “And as a 12-year-old kid, it’s like, how do you reconcile that in your mind?”
People magazine reported some of what she shared in her book.
“When I was fourteen, Trigger began weighing me,” Metz writes. “He’d get the scale from the bathroom and clang it hard on the kitchen floor. ‘Well, get on the damn thing!’ Trigger would yell. ‘This is what you need to know.’”
She said during the podcast that experience “impacts everything.”
“It was hard because I felt like I was singled out by him,” she said. “He didn’t really treat my younger sisters the same way. And again, not feeling chosen, or feeling chosen for the wrong thing.”
The-CNN-Wire
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